Kiwis, Koalas, and Kava... Oi, Mate!: Chapter Two, "Auckland to Rotorua, 'That's the Name...!'" (Wednesday, 12 October 2011)

Today began with a great buffet breakfast (it appears that baked beans are a breakfast staple for my Kiwi brothers and sisters, so "ROLL that beautiful bean footage!") before we boarded the coach on our way to Rotorua.  Uncanny Story #2: Our departure was delayed again - noticing a trend yet? - this time because a different tourmate - are you ready for this? - locked herself in the bathroom of her suite.  Let me say that again: she locked herself in the potty.  I'm NOT making this up.  I don't have to.

This morning's rainy drive took us out of the urban center of Auckland and in to the lush green countryside of New Zealand's Central North Island.  After a "morning tea" (or is it "T-T"?) stop in Huntly along the Waikato River, our first stop was the Waitomo Caves and the famous glowworm grottoes.  The caves consist of layers of limestone pushed up from the sea and carved by water flowing through cracks

and joints over the last 24 million years (give or take a century or twelve).  The glowworms are actually fly larvae less than 3 millimeters long living on the cave ceilings and emitting a visible light during the 9 months they remain in the larval stage.  The light emitted is a "cold" light, so it is perceived as a greenish blue.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, of them on the ceiling of the grotto, so the image is that of a very starry night.  The glowworms are sensitive to noise and light, so we navigated the grotto in a motorless boat that our guide "steered" by means of a heavy wire suspended overhead, which he used to pull our boat through the grotto.

We stopped for lunch in the town of Otorohanga.  One of the most popular food items in New Zealand is the meat pie.  Imagine a puff pastry shell the size and shape of a Moon Pie with fillings such as steak and onion, minced beef, mutton, and sweet lamb curry (my personal favorite).  Meat pies are as popular as burgers, pizza, or chicken fingers in the States (and just as healthy) and they can be purchased ready-to-eat everywhere, from restaurants to gas stations to supermarkets.  Well, I skipped the meat pie today, opting instead for "the gospel bird."  Yes, I had my first taste of Kiwi fried chicken (KFC?) today!  The verdict? Finger-lickin' good!

About 15 minutes outside Rotorua, you are greeted by the acrid smell of sulphur.  If you've ever smelled sulfur, you know how "special" a smell that is.  If you're NOT familiar with the smell, pretend that it's 115 degrees outside when you return from a weeklong vacation only to discover the neighborhood ne'er-do-wells egged your house right after you left.  That "rotten eggs in extreme heat" odor is what Rotorua smells like.  Everyday.  Rotorua is the geothermal capital of New Zealand, known for its baths and spas, not to mention its mineral rich mud, which has countless cosmetic and medicinal uses.  Our hotel, The Millennium Hotel Rotorua, was perched on the banks of Lake Rotorua, next door to The Polynesian Spa, routinely ranked among the Top 10 Luxury Spas in the World.

Rotorua is also a focal point of the Maori culture, New Zealand's native and founding culture.  Our evening began at The Realm of Tane, an EPCOT-like, indoor multimedia/interactive exhibit and live performance highlighting the evolution of the Maori culture and how the Maori people came to settle Aotearoa, "the Land of the Long White Cloud," now known as New Zealand... that is, before the Europeans showed up.  Every American knows how THAT story ends.

From there, we boarded a coach to Tamaki Village, a mock full-scale traditional Maori village.  We learned the hongi, a traditional Maori greeting involving pressing noses together twice to share the hau, or "breath of life."  Inside the gates of Tamaki Village, we experienced an actual Maori gretting ceremony, the haka, a bold and intentionally intimidating display of pride, strength, and hospitality used to invite visitors into the village

while surveying their intentions and warning of what lies within if those intentions are not benevolent.  The greeting ceremony was followed by a walk through the mock village, where crafts, games, and traditional Maori living were demonstrated under a canopy of tall trees that shielded us from the pouring rain.  An indoor exhibition of song and dance was next and then it was time for the feast.  All of our food (including chicken, lamb, two kinds of potatoes, and corn) was prepared hangi style, that is, in closed chambers beneath the ground heated by natural geothermic steam or heated water.  ("Mmmmm... tastes like chicken... and sulfur....")

We boarded our coach to return to the hotel, with a driver who was also the Maori warrior who first greeted us at The Realm of Tane and one of the narrators of the presentation at The Realm of Tane.  In addition those roles, we discovered that he's a halfway decent standup comic, a pretty good singer, and he's conversational in about 10 languages.  And you thought Jamaicans held a lot of jobs!

Bedtime, but tomorrow is a full day in Rotorua, when I find out once and for all who "built this city" and which genre of music they might have employed.  Sparks - I mean, SparX - will fly!