Okay, not really. We ARE alive... but there was no Godzilla attack (as far as we know; we have been known to be oblivious to massive natural disasters).
There are those very rare occasions in Life when something seems too good to be true and it isn't. Today was one of those occasions.Flying from Singapore to Bangkok on Thai Airways, Huey flipped through the in-flight magazine and came across an article on Wat Luang Ta Bua Yanna Sampanno, better known as "The Tiger Temple." At this Buddhist monastery in 1999, a young tiger abandoned when its mother was killed by poachers was adopted and the monks began to raise it. Word spread quickly, and soon other abandoned or unwanted tigers were adopted at the monastery. In an effort to continue to care for the tigers and to build better facilities for their housing, research, and interaction with the tigers, the monastery began accepting donations in exchange for photo opportunities and physical interaction with the tigers. Needless to say, a place like The Tiger Temple becomes a tourist haven (or trap, depending on your point of view) quickly. And who are we to buck the trend?
Upon our return from Chiang Mai last night, we booked a basic car and driver for 10 hours to take us to The Tiger Temple and other attractions in and around Kanchanaburi. After breakfast, we practically ran down to the porte coche expecting to be whisked away in a Toyota Camry. Instead, we were informed that we had been upgraded (again!) and would be rolling up to the big cats in a Mercedes-Benz E-Class sedan. (We, of course, said "OK.") Huey worked on this blog as we drove, while Robin read and napped. The two-and-a-half hour drive from Bangkok took us through a number of small towns and villages, none of which managed to escape the influence of Western culture, no matter how traditional or provincial they appeared. We saw KFCs, 7-Elevens, and Esso (Exxon) stations in almost every town, and as in the US, McDonald's and Starbucks are omnipresent.
The turnoff for The Tiger Temple was marked with a not-so-special billboard, like any you'd see along the roadside driving through Florida. Continuing down the road toward The Tiger Temple, our anticipation mounted, and though we’re not sure what we expected to find once we arrived there – thirty foot walls with guard towers and snipers with tranquilizer darts? Exxon and Kellogg’s billboards? Siegfried? – the entrance to The Tiger Temple was not as exciting as what was inside. We paid the fee and were directed to walk through a grove of trees that lead to the action. Emerging from the trees, we saw a monk and a volunteer walking with a full grown tiger in the direction of Tiger Canyon, followed by a group of guests. As they passed, three more tigers came in to 
view tethered to trees in a shaded area, waiting to be walked down to Tiger Canyon. We took our place in the queue of guests waiting to escort a tiger to and interact with the tigers in Tiger Canyon, and as we joined the queue, we casually passed well within pouncing distance of the lounging tigers, as if they were our own cats Stanley and Stella. Our turn came to follow a monk and volunteers to Tiger Canyon, and each of us had the chance to
go to the front of the group with the monk and walk alongside the tiger, while a volunteer grabbed our cameras and took pictures for us.
Once at Tiger Canyon, all of the tigers – about 10 or 12 of them – were tethered to trees or otherwise secured and volunteers tended to and played with them, as one would play with a house cat laying in the sun. And just like a house cat in the sun, these big cats became extremely relaxed and far more docile. It was at this point that we were permitted to get “up close and personal” with the tigers, and that’s just what we did. Both of us had the opportunity to not only pet several tigers, but also to 
get down on the ground and interact with them, in some cases, wrapping our arms around them or laying their heads on our laps.
If The Tiger Temple sounds like a petting zoo for big cats, that’s exactly what it is!
The experience was mind-blowing, like nothing either of us have ever done, on the VacAsian or at any other time. The experience is made even more special when we consider that we walked and sat and posed for pictures with and among as many as a dozen tigers, but at no time did either of us feel the slightest bit of fear or apprehension. Make no mistake: these ARE wild animals we spent the day with, wild animals with all the teeth and claws and innate tendencies they were born with. But the tigers at The Tiger Temple are raised by the monks, who treat them at all times with the dignity
and humility and respect for their power and pride that the tigers deserve, so the tigers grow up not fearing humans. The tigers live and play and eat and sleep in a very tranquil and angst-free environment, and the monks and volunteers work hard to make sure that nothing disturbs that environment. As such, the tigers learn to treat the monks, the volunteers, all other humans, and the other animals at The Tiger Temple in the same gentle and peaceful way they are and expect to be treated. It’s a careful balance that works very well at The Tiger Temple.
And speaking of other animals, The Tiger Temple is home to many other species of indigenous animals, all of which roam freely about the grounds, including deer, cattle, sheep, pigs, and horses. All of them share the tigers’ calm demeanor and rapport with humans. For example, as we watched a herd of cattle pass us in the grove as we were leaving, one of the younger members of the herd broke away and nonchalantly walked up to Huey (who incredulously captured video of the encounter), as if asking for directions. (See video below.)
Our driver was waiting with the car on when we came out of the front gate, so we jumped in to the VERY COOL car, where he offered us chilled face towels and bottled water and asked where we wanted to go next. We told him we wanted to see Erawan National Park and its renowned waterfall. He agreed to take us there and also suggested that we might enjoy visiting the nearby Elephant Camp. We already had the makings of a Wild Animal Encounter Theme Day developing and if there’s one thing HueBin enjoys, it’s a good theme day. (COMING SOON: Wear Your Shoes On The Wrong Feet Day and Guess Your Co-Workers’ Weights Within 50 Pounds Day.) So Elephant Camp it was!
The relatively short drive to Elephant Camp took us through small towns and residential neighborhoods before we turned down an unpaved road that lead to a stream or tributary. Our driver jumped out, spoke to the proprietor in Thai, and motioned for us to come on out. We paid
the fee and were directed to the top of a platform next to a clearing in which a half dozen or so Asian elephants were corralled. We stepped off the platform and on to the canopy on the back of one of the elephants and we were off. Our ride, which lasted about 45 minutes, took us “over hill and dell,” in and out of the murky stream, and through various patches of dense vegetation. The latter, of course, was at the elephant’s election – did you know elephants eat in excess of their body weight each day? – and we were rather entertained as the elephant driver, who sat in front of us just behind the elephant’s neck, alternated between instructing the elephant when and where to move and submitting to the elephant’s gastronomic whims. What was NOT entertaining was the oppressive heat and humidity and the sheer numbers of bugs we managed to attract (probably with some help from our pachyderm pal). We are pretty sure we were sampled by every bug in Kanchanaburi and that bugs from neighboring towns dropped in to check us out too. When it was over, we almost literally jumped off the elephant’s back and ran for the sanctuary of our climate-controlled sedan.
Right about now, a cool, beautiful waterfall sounds like just the ticket, doesn’t it? That’s what we thought.
We told our driver we were now ready to go to Erawan National Park, only to have him tell us that the park closed in 45 minutes and it would take us almost a half hour more than that to get there. That being the case, you may wonder (as we did) why our driver didn’t take us to the waterfall FIRST, then bring us to Elephant Camp. Our guess is it had something to do with the conversation our driver had with the proprietor of Elephant Camp, in Thai and out of earshot, when we arrived there. In other words, there may have been some “enticement” for him to bring us to Elephant Camp, while there was no admission, and therefore no similar enticement, at Erawan National Park.
Our next stop was The Bridge on the River Kwae, on the way to which we encountered a group of wild monkeys by the roadside. (They appeared to be either missionaries or hitchhikers. In either case, we didn’t stop.) Also known as “The Death Railway Bridge” and also in Kanchanaburi, the bridge is the subject of the multiple Academy Award-winning movie of the same name. This famous World War II site of numerous Allied attacks during the Japanese occupation of Thailand has been rebuilt several times
and still carries railroad tracks across its span. It is a major tourist destination, and since you can’t swing a tourist's camera without hitting one, there is – you guessed it – a market adjacent to the bridge. Never one to pass a market without darkening its door, we stopped “to look” and walked away with a handful of goodies.
Our “entrepreneurial” driver returned us to the hotel, where we showered, dressed, and enjoyed fruity drinks at the 63rd floor rooftop Sky Bar. (Original, hunh?) The views were amazing and the night was cool and comfortable. From there, we went up in to the dome atop our hotel to the Italian restaurant Mezzaluna. Mezzaluna is the kind of place that suffers under the self-fulfilling prophecy in which the prices bear no rational connection to the amount or quality of food you get, so nothing is as good as it 
should be. We scratched our heads, paid our inflated check, and moved on. At this point, we hoped our “old faithful” Café Mozu could renew our faith with a particularly appealing dessert (or desserts). No such luck.
We packed it in and returned to our room for the night. Tomorrow is a very special day, a day of which Robin has seen a few and of which Huey is about to experience his first of many.
HINT: There’s a CAKE named after it.
Our wakeup call came at 8 AM today, and we jumped out of bed pumped for the day ahead. Breakfast, included in the already ridiculously low room rate, was one of the best we’ve had on the VacAsian so far. (Go figure.) We checked out after breakfast and waited in the lobby. And then it arrived: the van to Flight of the Gibbon Canopy Tours (FOTG).
you’re traveling at much higher rates of speed. THAT is ziplining.) Huey had tried ziplining before at the much lower, but no less exciting Cypress Valley Canopy Tours outside of Austin. For Robin, however, this was a first. A first for both of them: FOTG’s Flight Three, the highest zipline in the World. 
If oblong is a shape, that perhaps best describes the "shape" Huey is in physically. There was a time - back when Huey "played college ball [SNIFF]" at Penn State and North Carolina - that he was a "man among men," a time when he would do a triathlon, pause for a Snapple and a banana, then do the triathlon backwards. His intramural greatness (he has the "Carolina Intramural Champions" t-shirt to prove it!) having long since abandoned him, the Huey of today is, in a word, a creampuff.
Our canopy adventure began as most canopy adventures begin: with a climb up a waterfall. The Maekampong Waterfall, to be exact. Like an instant replay of her scaling of The Great Wall (see VacAsian Day Ten), Robin sprinted to the top like Sir Edmund Hillary and struck her victory pose. Similarly, much like his disappointing showing in Badaling, Huey once again collapsed in a puddle.
Literally.
As luck would have it, just as we rappelled down from the final canopy and touched terra firma (we're not sure how that translates in Thai), we learned precisely why they call them "rainforests." The sky opened up and we ran for cover in the "hospitality gazebo" at the end of the tour, where we waited for the rain to stop. Of course, this being a RAIN-FOREST, the rain did NOT stop, and our guides tore banana leaves off trees to cover us as we dashed for the waiting van. We returned to the FOTG office, took pictures, said goodbyes, and began our drive back to the hotel, which drive conveniently coincided with rush hour in Chiang Mai.
From the hotel, we made our way to the famous Chiang Mai - you guessed it - Night Bazaar. We proudly and amply contributed to the local economy of Chiang Mai and that of the US, as we also patronized Starbucks and Burger King. (Long live the King!) Our Night Bazaar trip ended with our first tuk tuk (a motorcycle taxi) ride through the streets of Chiang Mai and back to the hotel. 
Street decoration is really all they are. We didn't think it possible to drive in four lanes at once, that is, of course, until we came to Thailand. Similarly, traffic lights and turn signals are more optional advice than statutory admonishment. All of these facts, which we had more or less taken for granted when were riding in enclosed cars, became glaringly obvious to us as we rode in the back of the tuk tuk. If you ever played the video game "Frogger" and wondered what the frog felt like, try riding in a tuk tuk in heavy, fast-moving traffic.
"Love."
Rule Number One of Massage (and/or Greco-Roman Wrestling): Always, ALWAYS drink plenty of water afterward. Huey forgot this important rule, and consequently woke up very early, aching from head to toe. He downed an entire bottle of water in about 20 seconds flat and returned to bed to wake up later, refreshed.
was too much. Huey already wasn’t feeling well, and but for a few specific items she still needed to pick up, Robin was still over shopping for a while. We taxied back to the hotel and watched the movie “Dangerous Beauty” on DVD (which, incidentally, we also watched on our third date) to conserve our energy for the evening’s and the next day’s excursions.
We packed for Chiang Mai, then the tailor’s driver picked us up for our final fitting, after which the tailor’s driver dropped us at the airport for our 8:20 PM flight. We arrived in Chiang Mai at 9:30 and taxied to our hotel, the Novotel Chiang Mai. We checked in, went to our room, and debated hitting the Night Bazaar, but opted to get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow promises high-flying adventure in the rainforests of Northern Thailand. 
Today began with a spectacular breakfast buffet at the hotel (suffice it to say, after the chauffered car, VIP check-in and fireworks last night (see VacAsian Day Fifteen), we didn’t expect stale bread and water) as we prepared to spend the day at the Chatuchak Weekend Market. Can you guess which half of HueBin was more excited than the other? (See VacAsian Day Seven.)
were not prepared for the blissfully disorienting shopping experience that is Thai market shopping. Stall after stall with every saleable item (not to mention some that probably shouldn’t be sold) known to humankind was available for the right price at Chatuchak. What could possibly be wrong with that, the shopping enthusiasts (and/or possession obsessed) among you may ask?
Perhaps it was the stifling humidity slowly soaking through his dura matter or maybe it was just those gosh darn cute Buddha marionettes, but Huey was ENJOYING unfettered, mindless, full contact, blatant consumerism at its best (worst?)… and he wanted more. But, as with his affinity for Blackjack (and “Judge” reality
shows), Huey knows when to say when.
leaves one feeling relaxed, rejuvenated, and with a clear head. Thai massage, by contrast, is more like Greco-Roman wrestling where only one competitor knows the rules. It is performed on a platform or low table, rather than a massage table, and the therapist (opponent?) is, at times, on the platform with you, pulling your arms, legs, torso, head, or neck this way or that and running you through various sleeper, half-, and full-Nelson holds. It leaves one feeling relaxed, but confused and a bit violated. In the end, though, the Thai sparring match is markedly cheaper than its Chinese counterpart.
We said goodbye to Singapore and Clarke Quay this morning and looked forward to our passage to the third country on our itinerary, Thailand, formerly Siam, made famous by, among other things, the book Anna and The King, which, of course, begat the play and movie "The King and I," which, as everyone knows, saw its modern adaptation in the form of the "Rush Hour" trilogy. 
Yet again, US diplomatic relations with Asia came within seconds of being severed forever, as we played the game that is quickly surpassing "Deal or No Deal" as the most popular game involving suitcases filled with valuables, namely, "How Many Bags Are We Allowed?" The answer changed several times (again) before we were permitted to check four of our five bags and treat
the final bag as a carry-on. Alas, the US State Department did not have to intervene, and the US Ambassador to the Republic of Singapore did not have to be pulled away from her Warm Tibetan Oil and Healing Clay Massage and Wrap at Spa Botanica. (You're welcome, Honorable Ms. Herbold.) Per usual, we were fed extremely well on our flight. (Editorial Note: We have had an exceptional meal on every leg of every flight during the VacAsian, and we can't help but think that if US airlines put as much effort in to customer service (and catering) as their Asian counterparts, there might be fewer bankruptcies.) 
past the front desk and directly to our room on the 59th floor. "Check-in" took place on the sofa in the living room of our two room suite, while we scarfed down the complimentary box of "Welcome Chocolates." Before she left, our representative unlocked the door to our stunning marble balcony overlooking Bangkok and the Chao Phraya River. (If we don't return to the States, you know where to find us.) Believe everything you have heard about how inexpensive Bangkok is. Despite all these amenities (not to mention the many others not mentioned here) and the five nights we'll be spending here, this will be the least expensive of our five stays on the VacAsian.
because an impromptu fireworks display erupted about 15 minutes in to our meal. Or maybe His Majesty King Bhumibol has been reading this blog.
We were up really early this morning because we had plans to swim with the rare Indo-Pacific humpback dolphins, which are born gray, but turn pink as they mature. We taxied over to Sentosa Island, a tourist and resort hotspot just off the main island of Singapore, and were dropped off at Dolphin Lagoon, home of the pink dolphins. Over the course of an hour, we painted and swam with and were serenaded by a total of five pink dolphins of varying ages. We laughed and giggled like five year olds and the pictures tell it all. It was like nothing we've ever done before and we doubt anything could match it!
As you might guess, wearing a life jacket and bobbing in the water like a couple of meat corks while a handful of the most beautiful and gentle creatures on the planet swim around you is hard work. The solution? Spa time. We checked in at Spa Botanica, only a few steps away from Dolphin Lagoon, had a delicious lunch, and indulged in separate three hour spa treatments, including all manner of scrubs and rubs and wraps and baths and showers. Then we reemerged in to the oppressive, death grip-like humidity of Singapore and instantaneously undid everything our friends at Spa Botanica had done over the preceding three hours.
We enjoyed a picturesque cable car ride from Sentosa up to Mount Faber on the main island, overlooking the Central Business District of Singapore, and back down before returning to the hotel. Dinner was Persian food at Shiraz in Clarke Quay, followed by a little shopping (imagine that) in the "weekend market" set up in Clarke Quay, before we packed it in and called it a night.
This morning began with breakfast at a little "mom and pop" place called Starbucks (they're small and local now, but look for 6 or 19 of them to open up on your block any minute now), before we hoofed it over to the Bugis Street Market, which is, like the markets we have and will encounter throughout Asia, cramped, crowded, hot, and busy. From there, we made our way to the internationally-known Orchard Road shopping area, followed by a stop at the World-renowned Raffles Hotel, where we sampled The Singapore Sling in the place where it was created, the famous Long Bar.
Next, we took a scenic "flight" 50 stories above Singapore on the World's tallest Observation (Ferris) Wheel, The Singapore Flyer. We had dinner at the aptly named The Steakhouse in Clarke Quay, where Huey enjoyed a delicious Wagyu (akin to Kobe) steak. (Said Huey of his steak, "It's like there's a party on my plate, and everyone's invited!") Dinner was capped off by a scrumptious chocolate souffle (HACS rating of 7.5) and a delightfully rich chocolate lava gateaux (HACS rating of 8.8).
After dinner, the night was just getting started. We doused ourselves in insect repellent and headed for the Night Safari at The Singapore Zoo. The Night Safari is a completely different zoo experience than any you've had anywhere else in the World. Most significantly, the Singapore Zoo has no cages or enclosures, but instead is made up of habitats that are landscaped with pits, moats, and other natural elements that separate the animals (us) from the Zoo's inhabitants. The Night Safari features well over a hundred species of nocturnal animals, lit by ambient lighting that simulates natural environments in the wild. A 40 minute silent tram ride through the park is coupled with three walking trails, all of which get you up close and personal with the Zoo's inhabitants, some of which are within arm's reach. For two animal lovers like us, it was a once in a lifetime experience.
To quote one of the nocturnal animals we saw on the Night Safari, it was a "hoot"! (That joke courtesy of Robin.)
"Hey, the next time you're on Mars, give me a call. We'll get together and have blarg!"
and family, concerned about us as the news of the Chengdu earthquake played out on the morning news in the US. 
We arrived in Singapore at about 11:20 PM, and following an almost vaudevillian floor show in which we condensed the contents of our SIX BAGS in to four bags in the lobby of Singapore's Changi International Airport, we drove through beautiful Downtown Singapore to Novotel Clarke Quay (pronounced "key"), where we'll be staying until Saturday. By the time we made it to our room, we were both wide awake (and a bit gamey), so we showered and watched "Juno" on DVD before we fell asleep. In separate beds. Just like Lucy and Ricky. 
photos. It also produces ridiculously large files that take forever to upload. (This, of course, begs the question why the photos from Huey's much less sophisticated Kodak Instamatic pocket camera - complete with "exploding" flash bulb - have not been made available, but that's a story for another time.) Second, Robin HAS uploaded many of the photos we have taken to date, but every time Huey goes to update the blog, he forgets to include said link. (For the English majors and other literary aficionados reading this, yes, Huey has become rather astute at referring to himself in the third person.) Third... we really don't have a third... so without further adieu, HERE IS THE LINK:
serene 90 minute drive out of Beijing and up in to the surrounding mountains, as portions of the only man-made structure visible from outer space came in to view ahead of us. When we reached the Badaling Pass and were ready to climb it was cold, damp, and windy. Seriously cold. Colder than [INSERT YOUR OWN ADAGE HERE]! What better reason, then, for Robin to purchase a fleece pullover emblazoned with an image of The Great Wall and the proud slogan "I Climbed The Great Wall."
If you've been reading along, you know that Huey has already regretted not doing more cardio in preparation for the trip. That negligence once again took its toll, as, regrettably, Huey did not make it to "the top" of the section of The Great Wall that we climbed. Instead, he collapsed in a sweating, shivering heap about 2/3 of the way up, where he became ready prey for the parasitic vendors who lined The Great Wall and seemed to metastasize by
the minute. Robin, on the other hand, who you may recall "played college ball [SNIFF]" and did six years in the United States Navy [SNIFF], once again forged on and made her way to the top.
Ironically, Huey already intended to return to the room after breakfast to change shoes, but with this news, he devised a plan. He left Robin downstairs to wait for the bus while he scurried up to the room and frantically searched for "The Ring." Finding it, he wrapped it carefully in a clean handkerchief and placed it in the pocket of his shorts. Unbeknownst to Robin, he carried it with them up The Great Wall (or as far as he got anyway), and when she came back down, Huey dropped to one knee and reproposed to Robin on The Great Wall of China! Fortunately for Huey, in spite of the opportunity to rethink her earlier decision, Robin said "Yes" again, and for the second time in less than three months, Huey is both The Happiest AND The Luckiest Man Alive.
commendable HACS rating of 7.2. (Way to go, Grand Hyatt Beijing!) Lots and lots of pictures were taken, hugs exchanged, tears shed, and goodbyes said. It was a festive occasion, but a bittersweet one, indeed. For Robin and all her classmates, the evening marked the end of something momentous and the beginning of something even bigger for each of them.
