VacAsian Day Eighteen (Tuesday, 20 May, Chiang Mai and Bangkok)

Our wakeup call came at 8 AM today, and we jumped out of bed pumped for the day ahead. Breakfast, included in the already ridiculously low room rate, was one of the best we’ve had on the VacAsian so far. (Go figure.) We checked out after breakfast and waited in the lobby. And then it arrived: the van to Flight of the Gibbon Canopy Tours (FOTG).

Canopy tours, also known as “ziplining,” involve strapping one’s self into a rock-climbing type harness, popping on a helmet, climbing (or in our case, driving) up into the treetops, and “flying” between the trees on thick lengths of wire by means of the carriage apparatus attached to your harness. (Imagine how a cable car works. Now imagine you ARE the cable car, only you’re traveling at much higher rates of speed. THAT is ziplining.) Huey had tried ziplining before at the much lower, but no less exciting Cypress Valley Canopy Tours outside of Austin. For Robin, however, this was a first. A first for both of them: FOTG’s Flight Three, the highest zipline in the World.

The drive took over an hour, as we climbed high in to the mountains above Chiang Mai and into the clouds. We passed village after village, each one different than the last, yet seemingly self-sufficient and obviously proud. What was most remarkable as we climbed higher and higher, farther and farther away from "civilization," was that all of the roads were paved and power lines followed them all the way to the top. We disembarked at the FOTG office in one of the villages, met the manager of FOTG and our guides, and pressed the "FUN" button.

If oblong is a shape, that perhaps best describes the "shape" Huey is in physically. There was a time - back when Huey "played college ball [SNIFF]" at Penn State and North Carolina - that he was a "man among men," a time when he would do a triathlon, pause for a Snapple and a banana, then do the triathlon backwards. His intramural greatness (he has the "Carolina Intramural Champions" t-shirt to prove it!) having long since abandoned him, the Huey of today is, in a word, a creampuff.

Our canopy adventure began as most canopy adventures begin: with a climb up a waterfall. The Maekampong Waterfall, to be exact. Like an instant replay of her scaling of The Great Wall (see VacAsian Day Ten), Robin sprinted to the top like Sir Edmund Hillary and struck her victory pose. Similarly, much like his disappointing showing in Badaling, Huey once again collapsed in a puddle.

Literally.

Returning to the FOTG office, we had a traditional Chiang Mai meal - and several electrolyte drinks - at the cafe next door, then strapped on our harnesses and helmets for the main event. Flights One and Two - the first two ziplines - were "for practice." Flight Three is the highest zipline in the World. We're not sure where this sort of logic comes from, but it's a bit like teaching a baby to walk, then expecting her to pilot The Space Shuttle. In any case, that we are posting this blog is evidence that we lived through Flight Three and all the others, as well as the several canopies from which we had to rappel down to the ground or to a lower canopy. If, however, you require additional proof, please check out the photos, or better yet, this video.

Among the many new and different experiences we had today, we tasted tea leaves right off the tree and learned the word for "Tiger" in a regional Thai dialect. (Foreshadowing.)

As luck would have it, just as we rappelled down from the final canopy and touched terra firma (we're not sure how that translates in Thai), we learned precisely why they call them "rainforests." The sky opened up and we ran for cover in the "hospitality gazebo" at the end of the tour, where we waited for the rain to stop. Of course, this being a RAIN-FOREST, the rain did NOT stop, and our guides tore banana leaves off trees to cover us as we dashed for the waiting van. We returned to the FOTG office, took pictures, said goodbyes, and began our drive back to the hotel, which drive conveniently coincided with rush hour in Chiang Mai.

From the hotel, we made our way to the famous Chiang Mai - you guessed it - Night Bazaar. We proudly and amply contributed to the local economy of Chiang Mai and that of the US, as we also patronized Starbucks and Burger King. (Long live the King!) Our Night Bazaar trip ended with our first tuk tuk (a motorcycle taxi) ride through the streets of Chiang Mai and back to the hotel.

Our tuk tuk ride highlights a few interesting points that we believe deserve to be made, particularly for anyone planning to visit Thailand. First, like Singaporeans or those wacky Britons, Thais drive on the LEFT - or as we self-centered Americans refer to it, the "wrong" - side of the road. More importantly, lane lines in Thailand are merely a suggestion. Street decoration is really all they are. We didn't think it possible to drive in four lanes at once, that is, of course, until we came to Thailand. Similarly, traffic lights and turn signals are more optional advice than statutory admonishment. All of these facts, which we had more or less taken for granted when were riding in enclosed cars, became glaringly obvious to us as we rode in the back of the tuk tuk. If you ever played the video game "Frogger" and wondered what the frog felt like, try riding in a tuk tuk in heavy, fast-moving traffic.

From the hotel, we shuttled to the airport for our 10:20 PM flight. Back in Bangkok, we taxied to the hotel and made travel arrangements for our next great adventure. Before turning in for the night, Huey wondered to himself what it is that turns a once fine human specimen in to such a common pastry - soft and sweet on the inside, crusty on the outside. Pondering this not-so-age-old question, Huey arrived at a simple answer.

"Love."

That says it all.