The disappointment and utter humiliation of my "Krispy Kreme FAIL" on the Queenstown to Melbourne still stung like a thousand hornets as I passed through security and customs at Melbourne Airport on my way to Cairns (pronounced "Cans") in the Northeast Australian State of Queensland. I descended a stairway and rounded a corner in the shopping concourse and WHAM!!!... like a punch in the face, there it was: a Krispy Kreme stand! Was this a cruel joke? A flippant callback? A bold slap across the face? Or was this justice, the natural balance that exists in the Universe, a reward for my patience and perserverance?
NEH... it's just doughnuts, y'all! KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS!!!I won't bore you with the details. If you know me (or if you simply like Krispy Kreme doughnuts), you can figure out what happened next. (In Latin, "Nom nom nom.") I watched "The Green Lantern" on the flight, and while I'm not quite sure what to say about the movie, I'm pretty sure I know why Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo aren't together anymore....
It was raining cats and dingos when we arrived in Cairns in Australia's tropical Northeast. Our first stop was Rainforestation, a cultural and wildlife park nestled in a rainforest high above Cairns. We enjoyed a tasty lunch before making our way to an outdoor amphitheater for an Aboriginal dance and djeridoo exhibition, followed by spearhunting and boomerang demonstrations. A walk around the wildlife park lead to encounters with two kinds of crocodiles, lizards and other reptiles, assorted native birds, and up-close interaction with kangaroos and wallabes. And, in an ironic twist, dingos. (To my knowledge, and Meryl Streep's chagrin, they had taken no one's baby.) The highlight of the Rainforestation visit was the opportunity to hold and be photographed with a fluffy, cuddly koala. (We are presently in negotiations with the koala's agent to license the photo for inclusion in this blog.)
The rain and generally crappy weather did not let up overnight, and things did not look good for our excursion to The Great Barrier Reef the next morning. Nevertheless, we braved biblical rains, "Perfect Storm"-like waves, and 30 knot winds on our "cruise" out to the Reef. It was to be a six hour tour.
A six hour tour.Instead of shipwrecking on a desert island, virtually everyone was sick and miserable by the time we docked at the giant pontoon floating over the Reef, from which we could snorkel, dive, and board a submersible to view the natural wonder. But the inclement and overcast conditions precluded even those who got in the water from seeing much of anything. Those who stayed on the pontoon were pelted with stinging rain and unrelenting winds, while desperately battling to hold down their breakfasts and consume their lunches. Sadly, some sailors lost that battle.
REEF FAIL.
Ochre is a restaurant in Cairns that features authentic native Australian fare and I joined the newlyweds for dinner there. Our "Taste of Australia" tasting included wattleseed, ocean trout, kangaroo terrine, crocodile wontons, fried crocodile, grilled wallabe and kangaroo, wattleseed pavlova, and Davidson plum sorbet. ("So THAT's what Australia tastes like....") On the way back to the hotel, I stopped off at the casino across from the hotel. I emerged victorious this time.I returned to my room around 1 AM after the casino and was greeted with an unsettling surprise. While we were in Melbourne, I booked what I thought would be a picturesque sunrise hot air balloon ride over the Great Barrier Reef. Upon arrival in Cairns, I took it as a given that the horrific weather would wipe out any hope to ballooning while in Cairns. You can imagine my surprise, then, when I returned to my room at 1 AM and discovered a note telling me I would be picked up at 4 AM to go hot air ballooning.
Excuse me?Less than 3 hours later, I was waiting in the hotel lobby and was picked up by a shuttle bus, which made several more hotel stops before the 75 minute drive to Nareeba. As it turns out, Nareeba is on the other side of a mountain range from Cairns and the Northeast coast of Australia, and the wet weather and winds pelting the coast had little or no impact on the weather in Nareeba. (So much for ballooning over the Reef.) Two bright yellow hot air balloons, each with a 20 passenger gondola, were being inflated as we arrived at the launch point. Within 15 minutes, we were airborne... and it was beautiful. Nareeba is no Milford Sound, mind you (See Chapter Four), but the very concept of surrendering to the mercy of the four winds as you float over virtually unspoiled rural terrain in tropical Australia is nothing to shake a spear at.
A half hour later, we drifted to a gentle landing in a field of brush on a private ranch. I jumped out of the basket and accompanied a small crew of "manly men" as tugged on a massive rope and pulled the balloon down onto its side so it could be deflated. Everyone, women and men alike, assisted in deflating, then folding the balloon and placing it in a bag (a very BIG bag) that was lifted by crane onto the bed of a truck along with the gondola. We boarded the shuttle and returned to Cairns.
A half hour later, we drifted to a gentle landing in a field of brush on a private ranch. I jumped out of the basket and accompanied a small crew of "manly men" as tugged on a massive rope and pulled the balloon down onto its side so it could be deflated. Everyone, women and men alike, assisted in deflating, then folding the balloon and placing it in a bag (a very BIG bag) that was lifted by crane onto the bed of a truck along with the gondola. We boarded the shuttle and returned to Cairns. I was back at the hotel 45 minutes before we were to depart for the airport. Ready or not, here we come, Sydney!
No comments:
Post a Comment